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May Calamawy

in Hulu series “RAMY”

Social distancing shoot in Los Angeles 

Photography | Mohamed Calamawy

Fashion Editor | Deborah Ferguson

Interview by Colter Ruland

Q: These are unprecedented times, to say the least. How are you holding up?

A: I’m generally a positive person, but I’ve had my ups and downs as I’m sure we all have. I noticed how that manifests in me is not a dip in my mood, but my energy. Starting with COVID-19, the anxiety of this illness, and then Breonna Taylor and George Floyd’s murder. At the same time I am energized by the momentum and the fact that this time I feel meaningful sustained change is finally coming. What we’re experiencing is history and the fact that we are all in this movement together is energizing.

Q: Is there anything you’re doing right now to stay centered?

A: I am grateful to my family and friends for keeping me grounded. My nephews are both 5 and 7 years old and also recently discovered FaceTime, so I now get to wake up to them daily! Children are so present and absorb the world moment to moment and can effortlessly be in awe of the simple things (I know my friends that have been home-schooling for 3 months may not feel the same!). I thought I’d be the person who would exercise daily during the lockdown, but that hasn’t been the case at all. I’ve certainly been less judgemental and gentler with myself than I would usually be though. In a moment where the world essentially stopped, my community became stronger than ever! We’ve all had to be more deliberate in our intention to connect, so the conversations have generally felt richer and more satisfying. I even started a book club with my friends, which I don’t think I would have done outside of this.

Q: Ramy strikes a more serious tone in season two. Do you think it’s inevitable that the show would start confronting issues more head-on?

A: Season 1 is aspirational in the sense that we are watching his journey of self discovery. On the other hand season 2 is transformational because we’re seeing him actually deal with who he is. Naturally by the nature of what the plot is as he begins to face himself, it becomes more serious.

 

Q: Ramy is very much rooted in our cultural moment, but it handles certain topics with humor and ambiguity. Is that for our benefit as an audience or how the characters cope with these pervasive issues?

A: I believe the answer is much more simple: people from the Middle East ARE funny. The Arabic language leans into sarcasm heavily and especially Egyptians are just funny and fun people, and that’s something people don’t know about us. So it’s natural for our characters to express themselves in that way.

 

Q: If season two strikes a more serious tone, it also expands its perspectives, dedicating several episodes to other characters besides Ramy. How important was this for the show?

A: I believe Ramy understood early on that having different perspectives about a marginalised group would create a well rounded show we don’t often see on TV. This allows for a stronger understanding of his character, while offering an audience the opportunity to relate on many levels, regardless of gender, but more through a universal human experience

Q: One of the episodes is dedicated entirely to your character, Dena, as she shares some good news that veers into some very personal territory and anxieties. How was spending more time with Dena in this episode?

A: I felt like I was exploring myself through Dena. We decided to make the episode around her anxiety and alopecia because I was going through both those things at the time. I definitely had a vulnerability hangover after filming that episode. Unlike Dena I much better understand the superstitions that her parents brought up because they’re part of the culture I was raised in. Growing up in Bahrain you don’t give a compliment without saying “MashaAllah” which is used to wish for God’s protection of something from the evil eye. I know other cultures have similar traditions. Culturally this creates a fine line between what you want to share and what you don’t, because you know it’s good to stay humble.

 

Q: There’s this incredible episode that centers on Dena and her mother Maysa. Things really unravel in terms of the situation—it involves misgendering and stalking—but we see this more intimate side of their mother-daughter relationship. What was filming that episode like?

A: Working with Hiam is always a treat. She has such an intoxicating magnetic energy and is so free in real life and her work. I actually watched her in Amreeka over 10 years ago and I remember thinking “I wish Hiam could play my mom in something.” It’s surreal that now she is and I always remember that while I’m working with her. Hiam and I can be trouble when we’re in a scene together because once we start laughing about something we can’t stop. We’ve been in situations where the camera isn’t on us and we’re dying of laughter, which isn’t always helpful to the people we’re acting with who have to deliver serious performances.

In the episode I really loved the heart to heart that we shared, it’s not easy to approach someone in such a vulnerable way or to receive that vulnerability back especially when it’s your parent and you always have your guard up with them. At the end of the day despite her shortcomings, she’s still Dena’s mom and there’s nothing like the love from a mom.

Q: In this same episode Maysa tells Dena she is proud of her independence because she couldn’t achieve the same for herself. It’s a heartbreaking moment, right?

A: It gave Dena a different lens to look at her mom through, a more human lens, rather than seeing her as this person who is meant to just be her caretaker. It made me think of my mom and question if she felt fully accomplished. My mom passed away when I was younger and I never had that conversation with her, or asked her what dreams she had and I wish I had.

 

Q: In what ways is Dena similar to you? In what ways is she totally dissimilar?

A: I understand several of Dena’s frustrations as a woman, not knowing how to fully express herself, wanting full control over her body and choices without feeling shame. As an Arab woman you struggle between wanting to go with your instincts and be “wild” (as Clarissa Pinkola Estes would say), and maintain your “reputation” within your society as decided through its interpretation of religion. This was much more of a struggle for me when I was younger, but as I’ve studied and understood where/how these cultural norms came about I have lived my life in a way that I understand makes sense. The main difference between us is that Dena grew up in the USA, while I grew up in the Middle East. A lot of the things she’s frustrated about were so normalized and expected among all my friends (such as the micromanaging and overbearing family members etc). Like Ramy, my brother definitely got away with more but it didn’t bother me as much, I was much more accepting of the double standards. I was lucky as I moved to the US when I was 17, which helped develop my independence, while Dena is still living at home and hasn’t lived anywhere else.

Q: How is it as an actor portraying someone like Dena, who doesn’t really let her guard down?

A: Surprisingly tiring! I am the opposite in this respect, as I let my guard down all the time with my family and friends. I used to protect myself the way she does, but I found that that protection leads to more pain and feelings of being stuck. It’s not easy for Dena to let people in because she doesn’t feel safe and understood within her own family unit, so it’s understandable why she is the way she is.

 

Q: You’ve mentioned before that you originally went to school to study industrial design because you initially thought it was interesting until you realized it wasn’t and dropped it to pursue acting. I love the idea of not wasting energy on something that doesn’t interest you. Do you carry this philosophy into your everyday life?

A: 100%. If my heart isn’t fully invested in something I don’t waste energy on it. The reason I went into industrial design was because my parents didn’t feel comfortable sending me to the US to study acting. Like all parents they wanted a degree that was more specialized which would guarantee a career. I was bored and  unmotivated during my foundation year, so I didn’t come up with anything creative and knew I had to make a change. That’s how I knew what I wanted and since then have always tried to remember to trust myself more.

Q: Aside from acting, what are you interested in?

A: I’m getting more and more interested in creating stories from scratch. I have a lot to learn, but would love to produce and direct my own work one day. Other than that, I love finding different ways to move whether it’s working out or dancing, taking walks in nature, playing the piano and have been taking Spanish classes for nearly 5 months. I was so focused on acting and building a career for the last 5 years and now finally have the mental capacity to discover and invest in other interests.

 

Q: What kind of roles do you hope to take on in the future?

A: I want to continue to take on roles that force me out of my comfort zone, challenge me and push the envelope the way my role on Ramy does. I want roles that allow me to serve the greater good by representing marginalized groups, that force me to grow and learn something new, whether it’s historical or a new language or a skill (I’m ready for you Tarantino). I come from an upbringing that made me take as little space as possible and so I want roles that empower me as a woman to express myself fully. I also just want to have fun, collaborate with people I enjoy and grow around, and continue to connect with viewers.